Self-Defense
by Exotos135
Summary: In order to try and hang out more with Lori, Ronnie Anne decides to teach her self-defense. Everything belongs to their respective owners.


It was a calm evening at the city of Royal Woods, and the young woman known as Lori Loud looked around the park in look for someone. She quickly found who she was looking for when she saw her boyfriend Bobby's younger sister, Ronnie Anne, sitting at a bench.

"Okay, Ronnie Anne, here I am," Lori said as she approached the Hispanic tomboy, catching her attention. "What's the oh so important stuff you wanted to-"

"Listen up, Phone-O," Ronnie sternly interrupted, then jumped off the bench. "I have noticed something peculiar: You usually hang out with Bobby, and when I do appear at all, it's with your brother, Lincoln."

"Uh huh? What's the issue?" Lori raised an eyebrow.

"We don't have much interaction together!" Ronnie flailed her arms up and down. "So, in order to fix that, I suggest we hang out on a girls night, you and I, we versus... Well, nobody, I guess, since I don't even know if you know anything about self-defense."

"Of course I know about self-defense!" Lori took out her phone and aimed it at Ronnie, before taking a picture with the flash option on. "I can take a picture of an assailant, and the flash will blind him long enough to let me run away!"

After the flash effects vanished, Ronnie shook her head and asked, "You don't know a thing about self-defense, do you?"

The young woman sulked in defeat. "I'm literally guilty as charged."

"Well, I know exactly what we're doing tonight!" Ronnie grabbed Lori's hand and dragged her to a nearby dojo. "And I know where we're going to do it!"

Once the duo were inside, they saw the dojo was completely empty, perfect for what Ronnie wanted to do. "Okay, Lori, for this girls night, I'm going to teach you some self-defense. After all, it never hurts to know how to fight back against assailants!" Ronnie took a look around. "Now, all we need to do is figure out how to train you."

"Well, I barely just started, so I guess we should start at the lowest level possible," Lori scratched her chin, and snapped her fingers when she got an idea. "I know! How about level zero?"

"Level zero?" Ronnie repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Lori, are you secretly Leni in disguise!? There's no level zero! You either start at level one, or-"

"Or we make our own level zero!" the young woman argued before heading to a rather filled sandbag hanging on the ceiling. "Look, we-we can use this for a level zero!"

"The fat sandbag? That's what the dojo uses to train kids, and to keep the doors open when it's hot," Ronnie put her hands on her pockets, "But, if you're really so scared of learning self-defense, I guess you can use that to fix your worries or something."

Lori promptly nodded, put on a battle stance, then gently punched the sandbag. The resulting punch didn't even make the sandbag go back and forth.

"Oh come on, Lori, put some effort into it!" Ronnie barked, stomping the ground. "Hit that thing with the same strength you use to hit on my brother every day!"

Lori nodded, and with all her strength, she punched the sandbag hard enough to send it back... Then go right back to her. Lori was hit so hard by the sandbag she was sent flying straight into a wall, with Ronnie laughing out loud and clapping slowly as she walked to the young woman.

"You know, Phone-O, people who get beaten up by mere sandbags are generally considered to be laughing stocks in the world of martial arts," the Hispanic tomboy remarked as she helped Lori get up. "You're lucky I was the only one here to see it."

"Yeah, I'm really glad this place is empty," Lori said as Ronnie Anne took out her phone and wrote something down. "I mean, can you

"I literally can't see that happening," Ronnie remarked with a sly smile as she sent her brother a message reading: "Teaching Lori self-defense, she just got beaten up by a sandbag."

Then, just as he replied with "LOL! XD," Lori turned around and the tomboy quickly hid her phone, while maintaining her smile. "Did you literally used my catchphrase just now?"

"I literally don't know what you're talking about," Ronnie giggled, then added, "Anyway, let's move on to the next lesson!"

 _Level 1!_

Ronnie and Lori stood next to a dummy doll firmly stuck to the ground. "For level one, you're going to perform a couple of simple punches and kicks," Ronnie explained as the young woman went closer to the sandbag and scanned it. "Once you can manage a rapid punch or kick combo, we can move on to the next lesson."

"Are you sure this is the best way to do it?" Lori inquired, scratching her chin. "I mean, the dummy is literally stuck on the ground."

"Lori, you've already been beaten up by a _sandbag_ of all things," Ronnie pointed out, embarrassing the young woman. "Clearly, fighting an opponent that can actually fight back is asking way too much out of you right now, so we're going to use one that's completely harmless instead! Now come on, give it a couple smacks! Show me what you got!"

Lori took a battle stance in front of the dummy, and started with three punches, followed by a kick. She paused, then glanced to Ronnie Anne, who gestured her to continue.

So Lori went on by parodying some moves she remembered from a game she played: First she hit the dummy twice, then upercut him hard enough to slightly lift him, but not take him out of the ground, then spun around with her leg extended, kicking the dummy three times before the spinning drove her dizzy.

When she turned back to Ronnie, the tomboy gestured her to continue once more.

And finally, Lori threw a rapid barrage of punches at the dummy, with the punches growing more and more intense until she charged one last punch and threw it. Once it hit the dummy, it's entire upper body exploded, leaving behind a mess of scorched filler all over the place.

"Lori, what did you do?!" Ronnie exclaimed, jumping back in fear.

Lori stuttered as she glanced at her fist, which was left steaming from where she hit the dummy. "I-I don't know, I was thinking about this anime I watched one time, and then boom, one punch equals a dead dummy!"

Ronnie's flabbergasted look said it best. "Moving on..."

 _Level 2! After some filler cleaning!_

Ronnie and Lori now stood nearby a large version of one of those robots from the "rock em sock em" games. "Okay, now you know how to attack, but you also need to know how to block," Ronnie took out a remote as Lori walked to the robot and stood in front of it. "I'll control this robot, who will punch you repeatedly, and you have to block every attack it throws at you, got it?"

"Right, but literally how am I going to know when and where am I supposed to block?" Lori asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You'll know when you get hit enough times!" Ronnie answered before making the robot punch Lori high.

However, the teenager ducked, avoiding the attack. Then Ronnie threw a middle punch, and Lori blocked it. Then she threw one down, and Lori jumped over it. "Hey

Suddenly, the robot kicked Lori in the groin, with Ronnie Anne laughing and pointing at her as she hit the ground. "You didn't tell me you were going to hit the baby maker!" Lori whined as she crawled away from the robot.

"Hey, you gotta be prepared for anything, Phone-O!" Ronnie replied in the middle of her laughter.

Soon enough, Lori got up and, with a sly smile on her face, took out another "rock em sock em" robot and attack Ronnie's robot. This caused the duo to engage in a brief robot fight until Lori's robot punched Ronnie's robot so hard it's head flew off... And then both robots exploded.

 _Level 3!_

The duo, now back to normal, sat on a bench and took a breather. "Alright, Lori, you've nearly mastered the art of self-defense!" Ronnie remarked with a smile.

Lori, of course, chirped up at the statement. "Really?!"

"No, you really suck at it, but hey, you're off to a good start!" to say Lori wasn't impressed would be an understatement. "Now we just need to do something else and then we can call it a day!"

"Okay then, what is this last thing we, and by that I'm going to assume you mean me alone, have to do so we can literally get this over with?" Lori inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Face off against the master, of course!" Ronnie got off, quickly left, then returned dressed in disguise... With a trenchcoat and a fedora hat. "I'll act like a criminal trying to mug you, and you have to protect yourself! Once you manage to do that, we can finish this once and for all!"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Lori got up and pounded her fists. "Let's do this!"

Lori went to the center of the dojo, and without warning, "Ronnie" leaped and landed on her back. "Oh no, a muggler!"

"That's right, baby girl, I'm gonna mug ya and rob ya, got it?!" "Ronnie" spoke with a fairly decent Italian accent, which made Lori chuckle. "And there ain't anythin' you can do about it!"

Suddenly, Lori grabbed "Ronnie" by the neck of her shirt and threw her to the ground before stating, "Not if I literally have something to say about it!" with a smirk. However, Ronnie smirked back and kicked Lori in the gut, causing the teenager to free her.

"I ain't so easy to take down, lad!" the tomboy smugly proclaimed.

The duo fought for a while, but eventually, Lori overpowered "Ronnie" and pinned her to the ground, upon which the Hispanic tomboy ran away, then returned, now wearing her everyday clothes.

"Lori! I saw a muggler running away from here! Did you make them run away?!" the tomboy exclaimed as she ran to Lori, who smiled in amusement as she gave Ronnie a nod. "Great! Looks like the self-defense training did work after all!"

"Cut it out, Ronnie, I know it was you all along," the young woman replied, rolling her eyes.

"What?! I don't know what you're talking about!" Ronnie laughed and saved her hands on her pockets. "But anyway, how about we call it a day?"

"Sure, but I do have to ask you something: Do you think any of this training will be useful in the future?" Lori inquired as Ronnie sneaked closer to her, her smile growing more and more sly. "That's something I literally didn't think about until now."

"It is if you want to avoid the tickles!" Ronnie exclaimed before leaping to Lori's back.

And so, Lori tried to fend off Ronnie as the tomboy tried to tickle her. When the two separated, Lori and Ronnie shared a hug and laughed all the way home.


End file.
